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The Official HDF Joke Thread

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Old 06-26-2019, 08:20 AM   #2236  
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Old 06-27-2019, 08:28 PM   #2237  
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:19 PM   #2238  
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:21 PM   #2239  
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:23 PM   #2240  
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Old 07-01-2019, 09:18 AM   #2241  
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Old 07-01-2019, 09:39 AM   #2242  
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Just stunning
Yesterday at 7:11 AM ·

A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now completely nude, she purred at him,

"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!"

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me!!.. 🤪🤣
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Old 07-01-2019, 08:36 PM   #2243  
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NUDE BEACH ....... !!!

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a family nude beach...

As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger

than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.

She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother

that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.

She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'

Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play

Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother:

'Daddy is talking to the
silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets
.
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Old 07-02-2019, 08:28 AM   #2244  
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Old 07-02-2019, 08:38 AM   #2245  
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:32 AM   #2246  
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:47 AM   #2247  
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Old 07-14-2019, 08:47 AM   #2248  
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Old 07-14-2019, 07:08 PM   #2249  
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A senior citizen from Port Huron, MI drove his brand new Corvette stingray convertible out of the dealership. Taking the on ramp west on I 94, he floored it to 80 mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.
“Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I 94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear-view mirror, he saw a State Trooper behind him, lights flashing and sirens blaring. He floored it to 100 MPH, then 120, then 150. Suddenly, he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the troopers arrival. Pulling up behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is my Friday. If you can give me a reason I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “years ago my wife ran off with a MI State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day Sir,” replied the trooper.
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Old Today, 02:37 PM   #2250  
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