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How I got my 57" Toshiba

12-18-2004, 06:41 AM
:) Since 2000 I have been eyeing a big screen TV to replace our 27” which is in a very nice entertainment center. My wife’s discussions have range from “It won’t match anything in here” to “It still won’t match anything in here”.
Every year we get a bonus at work. So in January my wife of 32 years said “If you get a bonus this year why don’t you go ahead & get that TV you wanted.” The look of shock on her face as that last word slipped out & the look of happiness on mine, when she realized what she had just said, was priceless! I would have seen a less shock expression if she had said “Why don’t you find the prettiest woman in town & get her to move in with us.”
(Of course after 3 minutes, a big TV is a lot more fun)
So as an old married guy I kissed her & thank her & kept my mouth shut.
I did not want to give her an opening to rescind her offer.
The next 2 weeks she was kind of quiet. I could tell she was slowly winding up like a spring. Just waiting for me to give her an opening. I wasn’t about to do it. I was on my best behavior. I took her to the cleanest McDonalds in town when we went to dinner. Told her about the spider webs before I let her walk through them. (I don’t like spiders)
I wasn’t even picky when she cooked my Spam sandwich and only put one pickle on it.
So the day I came home with the paperwork showing how much my bonus was & I would get it in the next paycheck (Friday), I was all over myself with joy.
On the drive home I was thinking about going to Best Buy, touching my TV and buying it. Then what it would feel like seeing them pull up to the house & bring that baby to daddy! But once I got in the house, I played it cool.
I didn’t jump up or down. I wasn’t grinning ear to ear. I just showed the paper to the wife. Payday was only 7 days away. My wife looked at the paper & her face turned white. My poor wife had spent years getting the house, looking like you are walking into a country magazine.
She got mad. Her jaw tightened. But she was stuck. She would say “But it won’t match anything!” and “What’s wrong with the TV we have?” But I wouldn’t fall into that trap by talking logic. I learned a long time ago I was out gunned when it came to talking sense. If I wasn’t careful, before I’d know it, I’d be agreeing with her & telling her I didn’t need that big old ugly TV anyway. So I kept my mouth shut.
Then I knew I had to ask the most dangerous question of all. I knew I should wait until 7 days go by & then order my TV. But guys! You know how it is. Once something is within reach, you want to jump up & grab it before something bad happens, like your wife talking you out of it.
So I asked, “Honey, Dear, The love of my life, can we go ahead & get the TV now? We got enough mone….”
That’s how far I got before my dear wife of 32 years of marriage politely let me know that I should wait until payday & ALL the money was in the bank before I buy the TV.
I’m pretty sure that’s what I heard between “My dead body” & “You always do this to me” & “Hell will freeze over” & “Your mama” & “You won’t touch this”, as I ran out the back door.
Guys you know what to do when your wife is kind of upset. You ride out the storm. Because face it guys, what’s a little hurricane, if at the end you still end up with your toy?
So that night as I lay on my side of the bed & she laid way over on her side of the bed (I didn’t know we had a king-size bed?), my man brain started thinking. (The big one) It was Valentines Day coming up. So I knew some stores had specials on. So at 1:30AM I went down stairs & got on the net.
I saw best buy had a sale on. $250 off on BIG Screen TV’s. My heart stopped. I knew I found away to get that TV before payday. So I started think, If I order the TV now (Friday), it will be here next Friday on payday. So I won’t have to wait any extra time. When my wife got home from work the TV will be here & it will be payday. What an IDEA! I just smiled to myself as I clicked away & bought that big TV on the Internet from Best Buy. I went upstairs & laid in bed smiling to myself as I out foxed my wife once again.
Then to my shock! I realized I forgot to check the delivery date! I ran downstairs & opened the website. They were going to deliver it on MONDAY! Not Friday! But that Monday! How was that possible?
Who delivers stuff that fast to someone’s home? I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Then I also remembered my wife checks the online banking statement almost everyday. What have I done? I’m a dead man!
I lay back down & just stared at the ceiling. I would be better off IF my wife caught me with the prettiest woman in town.
When my wife’s alarm went off she noticed I was awake. I told her I was just happy to be next to her & I’d like to take her to work & maybe go out to dinner tonight. (There was a new McDonalds opening up) She kissed my cheek & said I was sweet. (she did not noticed the cold sweat on my forhead) After I dropped her off at work I went back home to think about my future until Monday. My daughter stopped by & I explained to her what I did & did she have any ideas? She looked at me with that blank stare & I realized she might be my daughter, but she still had the female chromosomes.
I can still hear her saying “Dead man walking” My dad is “Dead man walking” as she walked out the door.
I picked up my future executioner at her place of work. As a desperate measure we went into Best Buy to look at my TV. (I wanted to see how
The TV was going to look before it was shoved up my ass). As we walked through Best Buy I tried my last very weak idea. I said “Dear I noticed on the website they have $250 savings if bought today only”.
I don’t want to type what was said, BUT I don’t think I would have heard those words IF she had caught me with the prettiest woman in town.
My daughter was right. I was Dead Man walking. I wouldn’t even get to surf all the cable channels before my life was snuffed out.
As we turned down the TV aisle, I looked up and saw salvation! There in front of me was the next model UP of the 57” Toshiba. It was $500 MORE PLUS it LOOKED JUST LIKE THE ONE I WANTED TO BUY!
I turned to my wife with a renewed interest in living past Monday and said “Honey look. The TV here in the store is $500 more. If I get it today only, on the Internet it is $500 cheaper PLUS a additional $250 off!”
She looked at me & then at the TV & back at me & at the TV. “Are you sure you aren’t trying to trick me?” With my dead man walking face, I stated “No dear that was what I was trying to tell you. I just want to save you some money.”
With that she said those magic words “Go ahead & order it”. I took her to the drive in window so fast & got home & pretended to order that TV it would of made a race car driver proud.
Later on my daughter came over to see if her Mom was out back making me dig my own grave. I smiled & proudly told her “Mom let me order my TV today and it will be here Monday.”
My poor daughter whispered to me “How?” I just winked & said, “Your Dad’s still got it!”
And that’s how I got my 57” Toshiba.

12-18-2004, 07:22 AM
Tears in my eyes funny. Read it once and then read it again aloud to my wife. We just added my new favorite $400 metal sculpture above our 50"Sammy to "redecorate" and accomodate our new TV. Of course after 13 years of marriage and being together 18 years my only question of the sculpture was "Is it centered honey?"

THanks for sharing...still laughing!!

12-18-2004, 11:01 AM
The original post had me rockin with laughter but the "Too Funny" reply got me rockin even more.

12-19-2004, 07:20 AM

In the fall of 2002 I wanted to buy an HDTV and I knew I would have resistance from my wife. So, one evening we were entertaining our daughter and her friend and during the meal, I told my wife I was thinking of buying a daysailer (used to own 3 different sailboats over time).

She said, at your age! I was 65 on that day and really saw no age problem. Then she said: "Where will you store it when it's out of the water?" I said, well it will be on it's trailer in the driveway (we have a double driveway and it's long enough for 3 vehicles plus the trailer). She said: "Not on your life! No way you will disfigure our property with a boat on a trailer".

Then I said, ..."the other item I'm considering is a new HDTV and we have plenty of space for it in our 36' x 14' playroom". In fact, I would like our step-son here (and I knew she trusted his judgement) to come with me tomorrow and give me his opinion on my selection". Our daughter said, hmmm, nice change of gear! And we all lol.

So, that's how I got my Toshiba 57HDX82.

12-19-2004, 09:51 AM
This is a really funny post. There is a writer in the Washington Post who writes a weekly column in a managine section that my wife loves to read each week. The author's name is Gene Weingarten and he has the same style. Perhaps you have a future as a writer. :)

12-19-2004, 10:27 AM
Hilarious story 8) My dad finally ended up being able to get himself an LCD tv finally and he used the excuse "think how it will help my blood pressure."