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Old 06-18-2017, 12:59 AM   #1606
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Old 06-21-2017, 06:28 AM   #1607
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Old 06-21-2017, 04:15 PM   #1608
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A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.

He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read 'Calls: $10,000 a minute.'

Seeking out the pastor He asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle , Denver , St. Louis , Chicago , Milwaukee , and around the United States , he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Georgia, upon entering a church in Powder Springs; Behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read 'Calls: 35 cents.'

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, 'Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call; Why?'


The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, 'Son, you're in the South now. You're in God's Country, It's a local call.'
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Old 06-22-2017, 11:46 PM   #1609
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a plane is on its way to toronto when a blonde in economy class gets up, & moves to the first class section and sits down.

the flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here.

the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won't move back to her seat.

the co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here.

the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman, who won't listen to reason.

the pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll handle this, i'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde. he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

the flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"i told her, "first class isn't going to toronto "
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