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OT: A Plea for Help

kamspy
04-21-2012, 06:01 PM
I don't know why I'm doing this, I guess I'm out of options. I don't know what the public sentiment of me is here anymore, it's hard to gauge these days honestly but I'd like to think I contribute to the forum.

OK Here goes. *sigh*

As many of you know my wife cheated on me and I'm on my own now. She chose to do this 4 weeks before I was being laid off. The cheating is one thing, but the condition she has my daughters in is completely different. They are living in a house with 3 adults, 4 other children (1 of which is special needs) and 5 dogs. I see them twice a week and they are always hungry, diaper rash, infection, you name it.

I've begun the legal process but my funds are tapped. I've sold everything I can jettison and am actually selling my vehicle to put money towards my legal fund.

I have contacted Child Protective Services numerous times and I guess the conditions are enough for the state not to intervene, or they just aren't visiting the house on the right days.

So here I am, begging for help for my legal fund. I'm pursuing full custody of my daughters. I know you guys know me as a man who appreciates a libation, but I assure you that when I get my girls I'm back on the straight and narrow.

If anyone is kind enough, has the means and is willing to donate I'm willing to provide any documentation you'd like. Legal bills, court orders, etc.

My main problem is my wife has full custody of both children since we had them out of wedlock. My other problem is in Ohio, if you are married, the court sees the divorce as the first step to custody. Talking to various lawyers about the complexity of my case I'm looking at a year in court at least.

So if you guys have any questions feel free to ask. I'm going crazy. I have to play $10 per hour, per kid to see my kids as of now. I manage to see them about twice a week and it's consuming the majority of my spending money. Yes, my wife is that fucked up and there's nothing the courts can do until I finalize my divorce and get a court ordered custody arrangement.

If you'd like to donate, I will show you exactly where your money is going.

I have a paypal account set up for this occasion.

http://i.imgur.com/0WME0.jpg (www.paypal.com)

My paypal email is:
thirdleafstudios@gmail.com

Thanks guys, wish me luck.:( I really have no one else to turn to for help here. Just vocalizing support would mean a lot to me if you can't donate. Any amount helps also. Be it $1 or $1,000.

railven
04-22-2012, 05:15 AM
You have to pay your wife to see your kids (how I inferred the $10 per kid per hour thing?) If that's true, that's pretty much extortion - which is illegal.

I'd create a paper trail and/or record the transactions. Seems things have taken a turn for the worse from when you last mentioned this (I recall you said you had fully custody and whooping her as in court,) good luck with it bro, may the Court Gods shine in your favor.

After watching a divorce and custody battle play out in the state of Massachusetts, I can tell you - it gets fucking ugly.

Pinoy
04-22-2012, 10:01 AM
Wow Kams that is fucked up, wish I had extra money to send you. If I do I will, won't be much but hey...

When you see your kids take a audio/video recorder. Record that shit, get the audio of your kids saying they're hungry. Get pic of the diaper rash and infection. If you can document neglect then you better believe CPS will step in (and I'll tell you as an aside they are nastier beast than most people believe, so watch your step with them)

Or just toss an oz of meth in the chicks drawers and call the po po on them...

Good luck Kamspy.

TwoPlusTwo
04-22-2012, 10:18 AM
I am not a lawyer but this woman appears to be breaking numerous laws.

For starters I agree with railven, that does sound like extortion... :huh

Mase
04-22-2012, 10:42 AM
Good luck man, all I can offer is some kind words. I hope it gets better and that your ex gets whats coming to her.

I wish you the best Kams.

Cygnus
04-22-2012, 09:34 PM
Kinda rough that normally women get nearly all of the kids rights during divorce. No matter how hard it gets, do your best to keep your emotions in check. It won't be easy.

kamspy
04-23-2012, 01:40 AM
Thanks for all the kind words guys.

kamspy
04-23-2012, 05:21 PM
Thanks for the donation! I have an idea of who it was, but since you didn't list your user name I don't know who to PM and thank! But if it's who I'm pretty sure it is, consider this my thanks!

eck979
04-24-2012, 05:51 AM
Sorry you're still having a rough go of it, man.. Never been through a divorce in my family, so don't really know any of the struggles from either side.
Really hope shit works out and your kids are taken care of.. That's what pisses me off in these situations.. The kids have nothing to do w/ it, yet they're always the ones that get drug through the gravel.

kamspy
04-24-2012, 12:54 PM
Yes they are Eck.

I have them today though. It's a good day. My baby is sleeping in my bed and pick my 6 y/o up at 4. :)

kamspy
04-24-2012, 01:00 PM
You have to pay your wife to see your kids (how I inferred the $10 per kid per hour thing?) If that's true, that's pretty much extortion - which is illegal.

I'd create a paper trail and/or record the transactions. Seems things have taken a turn for the worse from when you last mentioned this (I recall you said you had fully custody and whooping her as in court,) good luck with it bro, may the Court Gods shine in your favor.

After watching a divorce and custody battle play out in the state of Massachusetts, I can tell you - it gets fucking ugly.

I whooped her in court when she took me for Domestic Violence Against a Minor. That was here excuse for church about 3 weeks after I was out of the house. I honestly think she just said it at church thinking she'd never have to act on it, but her boyfriend and some mutual friends we have on Facebook saw that I was getting unsupervised visits 5 days a week for hours on end after she'd made these allegations to them. It didn't add up so she had to live her lie and try to press bogus charges on me.

Children Services testified that the kids testimony was cohearsed and the magistrate gave her a good verbal lashing for using the court system to try and get money. Our family doctor also took the time out of her day to come testify on my behalf, saying she'd seen the kids for the last 7 years and knows nothing like that went on. That court victory just lifted the protection order she had between me and my children. Now the only thing between us is her, and yes, she does charge $10 an hour.

Any ideas on how I can pursue that as extortion and make it worth my while to pursue?

John Rambo
04-24-2012, 01:12 PM
I whooped her in court when she took me for Domestic Violence Against a Minor. That was here excuse for church about 3 weeks after I was out of the house. I honestly think she just said it at church thinking she'd never have to act on it, but her boyfriend and some mutual friends we have on Facebook saw that I was getting unsupervised visits 5 days a week for hours on end after she'd made these allegations to them. It didn't add up so she had to live her lie and try to press bogus charges on me.

Children Services testified that the kids testimony was cohearsed and the magistrate gave her a good verbal lashing for using the court system to try and get money. Our family doctor also took the time out of her day to come testify on my behalf, saying she'd seen the kids for the last 7 years and knows nothing like that went on. That court victory just lifted the protection order she had between me and my children. Now the only thing between us is her, and yes, she does charge $10 an hour.

Any ideas on how I can pursue that as extortion and make it worth my while to pursue?

Sounds like you need to get that divorce finalized as soon as humanly possible and get a new custody arrangement. I don't know what legal basis there is or isn't for you seeing them, and the whole charging you money to see them thing... It sounds like extortion, but who knows? She has custody as of now.

Just get as much help with testifying and documentation of their situation, the cheating, etc, because I'm sure that she's going to hit you with whatever parenting flaws you may have, and probably even a ton of false accusations too, so be ready to combat that shit. It doesn't sound like you're going to get a clean divorce fight. Expect your opponent to lie and cheat, and be prepared.

railven
04-24-2012, 01:52 PM
I whooped her in court when she took me for Domestic Violence Against a Minor. That was here excuse for church about 3 weeks after I was out of the house. I honestly think she just said it at church thinking she'd never have to act on it, but her boyfriend and some mutual friends we have on Facebook saw that I was getting unsupervised visits 5 days a week for hours on end after she'd made these allegations to them. It didn't add up so she had to live her lie and try to press bogus charges on me.

Children Services testified that the kids testimony was cohearsed and the magistrate gave her a good verbal lashing for using the court system to try and get money. Our family doctor also took the time out of her day to come testify on my behalf, saying she'd seen the kids for the last 7 years and knows nothing like that went on. That court victory just lifted the protection order she had between me and my children. Now the only thing between us is her, and yes, she does charge $10 an hour.

Any ideas on how I can pursue that as extortion and make it worth my while to pursue?

Here is a big thing - be fucking clean. Like John just said, your vices will come up (if she is a bitch.) I sat through my GF parent's divorce. So much shit came out of their closet.

They will drug test you IF she claims you used drugs. My GF's mom is an alcoholic and had a high blood alcohol level on one of her random tests (because he argued she was unfit to take care of the minor child, which she denied, then of course courts ordered a drug test - they also found cannabis.)

Anyways, just keep your shit together. And get ready to have your previous life inspected down to the smallest thing (I hope you have no recent offenses on your record.) She is the saint in the court's eyes - your the monster.

kamspy
04-24-2012, 04:53 PM
I don't have any recent offenses, or really any since I was a teen. Even then, nothing major.

As far as drug testing, that's a double edged sword for her. I'm prepared (by paying $200 for a strap on penis that heats and pumps other peoples piss into cups). I enjoy a couple tokes instead of a couple beers at the end of the day. But so does she, and even more so.

The thing about getting the divorce finalized now, is the custody would be finalized now. I have to wait for her to self implode, which is coming. Her lease is up after May, and she doesn't know it, but the house she's living in is being sold and her lease will not be renewed. Considering she makes minimum wage and works 30 hours a week, I doubt she's saving for all the expenses associated with moving into a new residence. In fact, I'm the one who paid her lease. She's not even paying rent now and barely scrapping by.

So timing is everything. The divorce is started, and I plan on finishing in late May, when she'll be borderline homeless. This is why I need to get everything else on the table now.

As for my parenting, she brought up everything in the history of Kam and more in the DV case. I was not guilty and have a good relationship with our local children services agency from working with them on that. The only skeleton there would be pot, but I know she cannot take a drug test either.

mytime
04-24-2012, 06:37 PM
It will be tough but remain civil.....until you get what you want then treat her anyway you please.

TwoPlusTwo
04-24-2012, 07:20 PM
As far as drug testing, that's a double edged sword for her. I'm prepared (by paying $200 for a strap on penis that heats and pumps other peoples piss into cups). I enjoy a couple tokes instead of a couple beers at the end of the day. But so does she, and even more so.

Where in the hell are they drug-testing you?!? :eyecrazy

$40 for dilution versus $200 for replacement...the replacement is kinda overkill, unless you are being drug-tested for national security military clearance. Either that or where you live just sucks. :p

One of my buddies always goes for dilution instead of replacement, and always passes, and his employer is The United States Army. Your local piss-test labs are more effective than the military's?!? :what:

kamspy
04-24-2012, 07:23 PM
Where in the hell are they drug-testing you?!? :eyecrazy

$40 for dilution versus $200 for replacement...the replacement is kinda overkill, unless you are being drug-tested for national security military clearance. Either that or where you live just sucks. :p

I had a job where I had to wear it to work. They did randoms on the spot all the time. Comes in handy. You never have to worry. Takes out all the guess work.

TwoPlusTwo
04-24-2012, 07:27 PM
I had a job where I had to wear it to work. They did randoms on the spot all the time. Comes in handy. You never have to worry. Takes out all the guess work.

Oh like "randoms" that are actually random. Versus the better setup where your boss's buddy tells you the "random" dates ahead of time.

Yeah, that situation sucks. :(

John Rambo
04-25-2012, 12:04 AM
I can't believe employers still drug test people. Especially considering marijuana stays in your system forever but I could snort a line of oxy and it would be out of my system in like 3 days. The harmless pot smokers get fucked and the real hardcore users just take a few days off.

Bigloww
04-25-2012, 01:11 AM
One of my buddies always goes for dilution instead of replacement, and always passes, and his employer is The United States Army. Your local piss-test labs are more effective than the military's?!? :what:

He must be a civilin I am guessing.. When I was in the military, there was little to no way getting past it. They watched you piss in the bottle. I mean watched you dick go in and piss from start to finish. And if you tried diluting the hell out of your piss you had to do it again while detained. Inconclusive ment failure or folicle/blood testing time.. Things they can't do in the civilian world.

marcallo
04-25-2012, 06:30 AM
I can't believe employers still drug test people. Especially considering marijuana stays in your system forever but I could snort a line of oxy and it would be out of my system in like 3 days. The harmless pot smokers get fucked and the real hardcore users just take a few days off.

If they truly suspect you, they can do Hair testing. I think that's a good 12 month test for that one. I'm glad I work in the private sector. As in, I'm my own boss. Never had to deal with that bull shit. I guess when I was a volunteer fireman they could have tested me, but I hardly smoked then anyway. And honestly, what's the worse that would have happened, I wouldn't have been allowed to cut people out of cars for free anymore?

TwoPlusTwo
04-25-2012, 06:42 AM
If they truly suspect you, they can do Hair testing. I think that's a good 12 month test for that one. I'm glad I work in the private sector. As in, I'm my own boss. Never had to deal with that bull shit. I guess when I was a volunteer fireman they could have tested me, but I hardly smoked then anyway. And honestly, what's the worse that would have happened, I wouldn't have been allowed to cut people out of cars for free anymore?

:roflmao::roflmao:

Thank you for my morning laugh; that did make me chuckle. :hithere:

railven
04-25-2012, 08:21 AM
Work in a hospital, sometimes get stationed in the Methadone clinic for blood work, and I witness the urine collection. As Big said, they basically give you a cup and ask you to perform while watching you. You fail to produce a sample, you aren't giving your fix for the day (and these peeps need their fix, holy shit are they fucked up.)

I never heard of a strap-on penis - kind of...weird. Not sure if anyone of you guys have ever seen a catheter put on but holy fuck does it look painful.

awol
04-25-2012, 09:11 AM
If they truly suspect you, they can do Hair testing. I think that's a good 12 month test for that one. I'm glad I work in the private sector. As in, I'm my own boss. Never had to deal with that bull shit. I guess when I was a volunteer fireman they could have tested me, but I hardly smoked then anyway. And honestly, what's the worse that would have happened, I wouldn't have been allowed to cut people out of cars for free anymore?

One job I worked for did follicle testing exclusively. And they were never really random. Managers could call HR and ask for peeps to be selected based on behavior. One guy that interviewed with us said he would have a hard time with the follicle testing because he was bald. The facilities response was we'll keep asking him to remove articles of clothing until we find hair. :eek:

But one reason companies do drug testing is because they get discounts on their liability insurance for doing so.

jkkyler
04-25-2012, 09:25 AM
Work in a hospital, sometimes get stationed in the Methadone clinic for blood work, and I witness the urine collection. As Big said, they basically give you a cup and ask you to perform while watching you. You fail to produce a sample, you aren't giving your fix for the day (and these peeps need their fix, holy shit are they fucked up.)

I never heard of a strap-on penis - kind of...weird. Not sure if anyone of you guys have ever seen a catheter put on but holy fuck does it look painful.

One such model is called the "Wizzinator" (no shit,that is the name). An NFL player actually got caught with one by TSA after 911 and it made big headlines at the time and he got a 4 game suspension just as if he had a positive test. I can't imagine having a job where I put one on everyday before work and wore it around just in case. Follicle testing is soooooo much more expensive than urinalysis and the farther back you go time wise the more it costs. My buddy just had to have a follicle test (custody battle as well ) and they went back 6 mos. - his divorce/custody battle has been going on for 20+ months though and he just quit on day 1 knowing that this would come sooner or later - his ex who accused him was surprise dwhen the courts said " you both take one" he scheduled his the next day and took it 4 days later while she cancelled her date and didn't show up until 4 months later then said Im' ready - after 2 possession arrests and a Marijuana DUI. :banghead:

PS - in the army they used to watch us whip it out and pee and it had a serious chain of custody from tip of your penis to final results. We used to really F with the testers. One of the ophthalmic tests I do uses a synthetic dye/drug that turns your piss bright fluorescent green and we used to take it on occasion to see the faces of the testers as it came out and many other silly things.

railven
04-25-2012, 09:48 AM
One such model is called the "Wizzinator" (no shit,that is the name). An NFL player actually got caught with one by TSA after 911 and it made big headlines at the time and he got a 4 game suspension just as if he had a positive test. I can't imagine having a job where I put one on everyday before work and wore it around just in case. Follicle testing is soooooo much more expensive than urinalysis and the farther back you go time wise the more it costs. My buddy just had to have a follicle test (custody battle as well ) and they went back 6 mos. - his divorce/custody battle has been going on for 20+ months though and he just quit on day 1 knowing that this would come sooner or later - his ex who accused him was surprise dwhen the courts said " you both take one" he scheduled his the next day and took it 4 days later while she cancelled her date and didn't show up until 4 months later then said Im' ready - after 2 possession arrests and a Marijuana DUI. :banghead:

This is exactly what I mean. Divorce trials are insane - and effin bitter man. The shit that gets dragged on, I hope to never get into that shit with my GF (if we were to get married and unfortunately divorced.) I told my GF when I first met them, I always thought of them as the Brady Bunch (lo and behold behind the scenes of that show were scandalous too) - I mean, stay at home mom, working father, big house, son and daughter - nope. Alcoholic mother, father in denial, daughter (our first night together wasn't very ummm...proper if you would) with an attitude, son who I still can't tell is hiding in the closet.

And watching it all fall apart - woof. Just stay Clean Kammy. These things get effin disgusting and the one I witnessed didn't run for 20+ months.

PS - in the army they used to watch us whip it out and pee and it had a serious chain of custody from tip of your penis to final results. We used to really F with the testers. One of the ophthalmic tests I do uses a synthetic dye/drug that turns your piss bright fluorescent green and we used to take it on occasion to see the faces of the testers as it came out and many other silly things.

We have similar dyes here for histochemistry, but unfortunately pulling a stunt like that would make patients think they have cancer :(