The software player that will play most Blu-rays is PowerDVD 7 Ultra. No perfect solution for an htpc is available today. PowerDVD just has less issues than the alternatives (Arcsoft, WinDVD, Nero plugin), but it's far from perfect.
You'll need a HDCP compliant graphics card. Check their (cyberlink) site for the requirements, they also have a tool to check your system afaik.
If you start from scratch, i would recommend seriously thinking about getting a standalone/PS3.
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